Paramours and Child Custody
'Paramours' often seen as problem
By Brian
Hicks (Contact)
Justin Hillerby, 27, sits during a bail hearing at Summerville
Municipal Court Thursday. The judge denied bail for Hillerby.
In Family Court, they are called "paramours," and they can play a
major role in child custody cases.
Live-in boyfriends are eyed suspiciously, children's advocates and attorneys
say because they are often the most dangerous person a child encounters.
Judges frown on unmarried couples living together so much that some have
been known to invoke the state's 200-year-old fornication law to encourage a
single mother to avoid allowing a boyfriend to stay at her house.
After Justin Hillerby's arrest Wednesday in the death of his girlfriend's
22-month-old son in Summerville, local experts familiar with the court system say
the situation is all too familiar.
"It is a recurring problem," says Stephen Dey, a local attorney
and co-chairman of the Family
Court Liaison Committee of the
Dey says he will not take a case involving a parent with a live-in lover
because "your chances of getting relief from the court is slim to
none."
That's because of the troubles they've seen in Family Court. National
studies indicate children living in households with unrelated adults are nearly
50 times as likely to die of inflicted injuries as children living with two
biological parents.
Laura Hudson, executive director of the South Carolina Crime Victim's
Council and a member of the state's Child Fatality Review Team, said Thursday
it's hard to break down state statistics to illustrate the problem, but
"I'll say it's not uncommon."
Often, she says, the death of a child comes at the hands of an adult
caregiver who is not related to the victim. What police say occurred in the
Hillerby case is nearly identical to a 2007 St. George case. Donald Joseph
Mauldin last year was sentenced to 50 years for killing his live-in
girlfriend's 3-year-old daughter.
The Dee Norton Lowcountry Children's Center has seen a 28 percent increase
in child-abuse cases in the last four years. Dr. Libby Ralston, the center's
executive director, says they have a lot of experience with cases involving
live-in boyfriends.
"A lot of live-in boyfriends don't have the affection or the bond with
a child, and no experience as a parent," Ralston says. "We have found
that the risk to children increases when they are exposed to multiple
adults."
And it is even worse when that is a person who doesn't understand a child's
behavior, or how fragile they are.
"They may even feel jealous of the relationship the child has with its
mother," Ralston said.
Some states have even considered harsh penalties against parents who move in
with a lover. In